Impressing the Evans
by KkarmaCchameleon
Summary: James was already nervous about meeting Lily's parents, but then her dad asks for his help in the kitchen so they can have a little chat.


Lily was nervous.

After briefly bickering over whose family they would spend the Christmas holiday with—"My parents are _dying _to meet the girl I've been talking about for six and a half years!" James argued, while Lily calmly pointed out that her parents hadn't come into contact with very many witches and wizards and were kind of intrigued to meet him as well—they'd agreed to spend the first week with her parents and the second week with his.

But now that they were standing outside her house, she hesitated before knocking; she was starting to wonder if this was a good idea after all. "And remember," she said, for possibly the hundredth time. "They're Muggles, so just... tone down the weirdness?"

"Merlin, Lily, you'd think you're embarrassed of me or something," he teased. "I'll be on my best behavior. Gryffindor's oath."

She sighed and knocked three times. The door opened almost immediately, revealing her beaming mother. "I was wondering how many times you were going to lecture him before coming in. I've been standing here for ten minutes!"

James gave an appreciative laugh, while Lily rolled her eyes. "I didn't lecture him for ten minutes."

"More like twenty!" James replied.

"And don't worry about 'toning down the weirdness,'" her mother continued. "You should've seen the things she did before any of us knew about magic."

"Mum," Lily warned. "Don't."

"She got this _awful_ haircut once; the scissors must've slipped. Next morning, her hair was longer than it'd been beforehand. But that was just _normal. _Christmas when she was eight, we gave her and Petunia both necklaces with a charm of their flower. Petunia liked Lily's better because she thought the lily was prettier than the petunia, so she grabbed at it and broke it. Lily was crying and the next thing we know, Tuney's necklace had turned into a snake."

"Mum!" Lily protested, watching her boyfriend dissolve into a fit of laughter at her expense.

"She had a mean streak, she did. Granted, the girls were always a bit competitive, but Lily always got her revenge."

James slung an arm around Lily's shoulder. "I'd better watch my back, then."

She prodded him in the side. "Yeah, you'd better."

"I'm gonna go check on your father, sweetie, make sure he hasn't blown up the kitchen again." With a final laugh, she left the room.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, then saw James's face. _"Again?!"_

She started to walk to her room, ignoring his question. "No, really, Lily, this is important. Again?" He trotted behind her until she opened a door, then he paused awkwardly. "Er...can I come in?"

Snickering, she said, "James, I spend half my time in your dormitory and you're asking permission to come into my room?"

"Right, sorry. I was just...I dunno, thought it might be different, being here, um, never mind." His face was bright red as he leaned against the wall.

For the first time, Lily realized that James might have been just as nervous about this as she was. She moved pillows out of the way on her bed and patted the space in front of where she sat cross-legged. After deliberating for a few more seconds, he joined her, also sitting criss-cross, suddenly feeling years younger. "So, you _really_ want to know why she had to say _again_ when talking about my dad blowing up the kitchen?"

His face—his demeanor, really—brightened instantly. "Hell yes!"

"It's happened twice before. Really bad, I mean; he's set countless dishes on fire. The first time was when I got my Hogwarts letter." She smiled, remembering. "Mum exaggerates a bit on this one; he only blew up the stove. He was so shocked, he knocked over what he was cooking onto the eye, didn't realize it, turned up the temperature... Lots of fire, a very angry mum, a crying sister, and two hours later, and we finally fully read the letter."

"And...the second time?"

"Oh, he really did blow it up that time! I don't know what he did, but it was this past summer. I was in my room, and there was a _BANG!_ and I came in to find pretty much nothing left of the left half of the kitchen. It took some pretty advanced magic to fix it up again," she added proudly.

"Aww, my girlfriend's good at cleaning up other people's messes. Good to know."

"Oh, shut up." She threw one of the pillows at him. "I've cleaned up plenty of your messes before!"

He threw it back at her. "I know." The he grew serious. "D'you think he'll like me?"

"Who?" she asked, confused for a second. Then she got it. "Oh, my dad? Of course. He'll love you!"

James wasn't convinced. "Are you sure? I mean, your mum likes me, but I'm good with the ladies."

"Shut up!" she said again. She could hear her mother shouting down the hall, something about _can't make toast without setting something on fire!_ "So long as you don't keep talking like that, he'll love you. Doesn't everyone?"

His confidence returned, he agreed, "You're right. Everyone loves me!"

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Now, c'mon, let's go and see what damage he's done to the kitchen."

When they got there, the problem was immediately apparent. There were a few scorch marks on the counter, but the real issue was the ceiling. "Daddy," Lily asked sweetly. "How'd you get the turkey stuck to the ceiling?" Bits and pieces of what was once a more than likely delicious meal were slowly falling, and one piece dropped directly onto her head.

James held in a laugh as he brushed it out of her hair and her dad explained, "The stew exploded."

"The...stew...exploded. We've told you a hundred times, no more turkey stew!" she scolded. "Something always catches fire!"

"I know... Ah, James, would you mind helping me clean up? Lily, go help your mum decorate."

James gulped, knowing what was about to happen. Lily didn't, so she gave him a quick kiss before darting out of the room.

He offered a hand, which Lily's dad shook. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Evans," he said, trying not to show any nerves.

"You too. Now, grab that stool over there. You can clean the ceiling while I work on the counter." James nodded and set to work. "I have to ask you a few questions. You know, as a father."

"Right, I understand." James braced himself for such questions as _what are your intentions with my little girl?_

"Hogwarts is a fairly small school, I take it. Are you, in fact, the same James Potter that she wrote about for five years?"

He just about fell off the stool. "What?"

"She wrote to us a lot more her first couple years. I guess she was homesick, because we got letters three times a week near the start." He chuckled, and James noticed that it was a lot like Lily's laugh. "'That _insufferable_ James Potter thinks he can get away with anything just because he's _charming!'"_ He mocked his daughter's voice almost perfectly.

"Er, yeah... that would be me," he muttered, scraping off a particularly well-stuck chunk of turkey.

"'He wouldn't be so bad if he didn't ask me out every other breath!'" he continued, as though James hadn't interrupted. "Oh, she talked about you a _lot._ Her mother always knew you two would end up together, said you can't state that you hate someone that often and deny liking them so many times without there being something there. Even if you were, in her words, arrogant and conceited."

"Yeah, she said as much. Pretty much daily."

That earned a laugh, which James saw as a good sign. "She likes to get her point across," he said fondly before keeping with the old train of thought. "Sixth year came around, and she didn't write as often. Once or twice a month. She was finally getting comfortable enough there that she didn't feel the need to write to us about every little thing in her life. But when she did write, she always included something about you. 'That James Potter must have taken a Bludger to the head. He hasn't hexed anyone in a month!' You toned down the arrogance, I take it?"

He nodded. "I did. I, um, it wasn't really helping me get anywhere with Lily, and my friend Remus pointed out that she's not just another one of the smiling, easily-charmed girls I could've gone for. I sucked it up and grew up."

"She mentioned that. 'I think Potter's growing up!' But she quit mentioning someone else near the end of fifth year. I hate to pry into her life without her knowing, but do you know what happened between her and Severus."

This time, James really did fall off the stool. He hastily stood up. "Yeah. Yeah, I do..."

"Do you mind telling me what happened, since all she would say when we asked why he hasn't been around since then is _we went our separate ways._"

"He used a racist slur," James mumbled quickly, almost hoping he didn't catch what he said.

Lily's father looked perplexed. "But they're both..."

He sighed. "There's different kinds of wizards and witches. There's Pure-bloods, which means both parents are magic. There's Half-bloods, who have one magical and one Muggle parents. Then there's Muggle-borns, like Lily, who have two Muggle parents. Lily's probably told you there's a bit of a war going on, right?"

"She has. She said it was over blood status, but she didn't really explain what that meant..."

"Exactly. There's people out there, Pure-bloods, mostly, who think that Muggle-borns aren't worthy. I'm not one of them," he added. "My family's always been against the Dark Arts. But people that _are_ interested in the Dark Arts, they're not very pro-Muggle. Funny thing is, Snape's father is a Muggle, so he's kind of a hypocrite. But anyway, there's a _word_ some of them use... God, I hate even having to say it, but it's _Mudblood._" He whispered the word, cringing. "It means dirty blood, and it's the worst thing you can call someone."

"He called my daughter that?" He was swiftly shifting into the role of defensive dad.

James nodded again. "He did, and that's when they quit being friends."

"You're a Pure-blood, right?"

"I am, but blood doesn't matter to me." He lowered his voice. "Between you and me, I used one of the more unpleasant spells on him for that later on. He may, uh, have lost the bones in both arms."

"Good for you. I would've done the same. You know, if I could." His smile faded a little. "And your family is okay with you dating a Muggle-born like her?"

"Of course!" James exclaimed. "I've been talking about her since my first day at Hogwarts. They're glad she finally said yes, because they were getting sick of me whining about getting shot down. They can't wait to meet her!"

He clapped James on the shoulder. "Well, then I'm glad she's got someone like you. It's obvious you make each other happy. Besides, I never much cared for that Severus boy. If he'd just _wash his hair_ once in a while! But never mind that." Then he grinned. "Come on, let's go make sure my wife hasn't set the tree on fire again."

"_Again?" _James asked in disbelief for the second time that day.

"Oh, yes. I'm not good in the kitchen, she's a nightmare with lights. We're both pretty accident-prone when it comes to fire," he admitted.

Laughing, they joined Lily and her mother in the living room. Nothing was ablaze, which was good. Lily skipped over. "What did I tell you? You two seem to be getting along just fine!"

"Once you've cleaned scalding turkey off the walls and ceiling with someone, I guess you form some sort of bond."

* * *

I don't own them, etc. When I started this, I'd originally planned for James to have been embarrassingly intrigued by all things Muggle, but it changed paths on me before I could do that.


End file.
